On Bridesmaid Diets – WTF?

There are such things in this world as movies called 27 Dresses.

There are women, and we all know some, that seem to be standing up in weddings every other week.

I, on the other hand, have never purchased a bridesmaid’s dress.

Bridesmaids movie. Fucking love.

This is because I have never been a bridesmaid.

But this summer, I get to jump into the bridesmaid fray as the green in my little sister’s rainbow wedding. When Ms. purple sarcastically called the bride a bridezilla (because she so freaking low-key about wedding planning), she squeakily defended herself by saying she knows of a bride that gave her girls “bridesmaid diets.”

WTF?

We have all heard stories (just spend a few minutes on The Knot message boards) of Bridezillas ditching bridesmaids that had the nerve to get pregnant, cut their hair, gain a few pounds, brides that dictate what their groom or groomsmen are allowed to do with their facial hair or what they can and cannot wear. And seriously, bridesmaid diets?

Since these ladies cannot be bothered to be sane and rational (let’s hope it’s only temporary wedding insanity and not a window into a black and shriveled soul), let me lay it out really quick.

It’s not all about you.

Yes, you have a certain vision of your wedding day, and if the wedding colors are eggplant and apple, for example, and your groom wants to wear an electric blue velvet tux with ruffles on the chest, you are well within your rights to beg, borrow, plead and compromise your way into a workable solution.

What it comes down to is this: you are marrying this person for a reason. All of the people in your wedding party are there for a reason.

Because you love them.

And you love them for who they are, don’t you? That bridesmaid who keeps her hair buzzed? Isn’t one reason you love her because she is a ballsy enough chick to buzz her head?

If you are concerned that these non-conformers will ruin your wedding pictures, hire a better photographer.

Brides have a million things on their plates and on their minds, I know, and occasionally it feels like those around you are out to steal every last crumb of your sanity. I’m planning my second wedding now, I feel you, I really do.

Here’s the key to making it all work: if you surround yourself with good people (but you already did that, didn’t you?), ask for help, let them help you, the rest really will work itself out.

And for the record, I am on a bridesmaid diet: it’s called “stay the same size as the $600 worth of bridesmaid dress and wedding dresses you already bought.” But I put myself on that diet, and that’s all right.

What Bridezilla horror stories have you heard? Share them in the comments, because we all want the dirt too.